“Sometimes secrets aren’t lies—they’re fears dressed in silence.”
X—X—X—
SHEHNAAZ
MUNNI
MUNNI?
Like seriously?
Has he lost his brain?
Oh, I forgot he doesn’t have a brain.
My face cringed in disgust. This name doesn’t even suit my image.
Yuck!
“Don’t you hear me? She is Munni, my assistant.” Sidharth’s voice was rough. He added, “I can even file a case against you for troubling my assistant in front of so many people.”
I pinched his waist, and this moron covered his yell with a cough. Smart move!
His assistant?
Not even in my dreams.
“So… Sorry, sir.” The waiter shudders, and I covered my face with the cap and my hair. Thank God, Sidharth threatened him; otherwise, the crowd would have gone mad. “I misunderstood you, Ma’am.” He apologised, and I simply nodded.
“Why would my Sapna Bahu come to this cafe?” I heard an elderly lady who said and looked at Sidharth with disgusted eyes, “Why with him? She loves Rohan na…”
She also merged my character with my real self and paired it with my reel-life husband. It is not their problem. They love us so much that sometimes they forget that reel life is different from real-life.
We, as actors, also have lives behind those cameras, but sometimes people forget that.
I am not complaining about that.
“Right, Maa, he doesn’t even look good with our Sapna.” The lady standing beside her added further, while I noticed Sidharth’s eyes were pointed at them as if he would murder them.
“Why? Am I not looking good with her?” Sidharth shouted, making everyone flinch. The ladies trembled while he added, “And, who the hell is Sapna?”
Is he serious?
He is asking such stupid questions at this time.
I pulled his shirt, and he leaned backwards. I whispered in his ear, “Leave that useless topic. We have to go before they find out my true identity.”
As if the realisation drowned upon him, he nodded, and began, “Why are you guys staring at us? Are we an INDIA GATE?” He yelled and made everyone in the cafe shiver, “Or Taj Mahal.”
India Gate? He is not even an inch less than the Qutub Minar.
Sometimes my neck strains when I look at him for more than 5 minutes.
I giggle. I know I am exaggerating, but I won’t admit it, I am short.
Case closed here!
Everyone dispersed and avoided looking at us. For that, I thanked Sidharth. The waiter approached us again and meekly said, “Bill.”
Sidharth took the bill and groaned, “Fuck off.” The waiter literally ran away, poor; he faced the warmth of my husband.
We walked towards the counter to pay the bill while I whispered, “Why are you getting angry?”
“They all pissed me off.” His voice wasn’t low, and I looked around. Everyone was looking at us.
“This is the disadvantage of being with a celebrity,” I muttered.
A smile touched his lips while he murmured back, “I think this is the disadvantage of being with YOU.”
Here, I am trying to be cordial with him, but he is acting like a jerk.
He pulled out his wallet, and I stopped him, “Hey?” He looks at me like I did something stupid. “This treat is on me, did you forget?”
He smacked my hand away and stated, “Do you really believe that I will let you pay when I am right here?” He smirked and gave a strong tap on my forehead, making me hiss. “Don’t forget I am a gentleman.”
Gentleman, my foot!
“Wait.” Before he could pay, I stopped him, and he looked at me, confused. I ordered two boxes of pastries, one for home and one for the kids who were looking at us while we were having ours.
I saw them looking at our plate through the glass door, and those innocent stares were enough to melt any stone heart.
I earn enough, so why can’t I make two souls happy today?
Sidharth paid the bill, and I carried the boxes happily as he denied carrying them with the excuse that he was a patient.
Sometime ago, he talked about being a gentleman.
I am saying he is bipolar.
He stood beside me when I talked with the kids. They are brother and sister.
“No, Didi, hume nahi chahiye.” The girl spoke and grabbed her brother’s arm, who was ready to launch on the box anytime.
So sweet!
“Aapka naam kya hai, young boy?” I asked the little boy who smiled so cheerfully that, for a second, I imagined how my grumpy husband would look with this smile.
He will look like a clown, I know.
“Anand.” He shied away, making me laugh, and I looked at Sidharth, who smiled too.
Sidharth kneels beside me and begins, “Anand, you want this?” He points at the box in my hand, and that little boy literally jumps in excitement. “Then, have it.” He took the box and gave it to the boy. “Ise apni sister ke sath bhi share karna, ok?”
Awww…. I don’t know that Sidharth can be sweet.
“Thank you, Didi.” The girl replied and kissed my cheek, followed by Anand, too.
“Meri kiss kaha hai?” Grumpy Shukla is back on track. I laughed seeing his jealous expressions, while he smiled when the brother-sister duo kissed his cheek as well.
This side of him is really sweet.
“Hum aapko jante hai, Didi. Aap hume bahut pasand hai.” The girl grins while her brother blushes and adds, “Mujhe bhi aap bahut sundar lagti hoo, Didi.”
I go all aww on them, and I look beside me at Sidharth, who is smiling.
“Mujhe bhi aap bahut pasand aaye ho.” I smooth her hair and whisper as if I were telling them a secret. “Aap mujhe ek promise karoge?” They nodded, and I continued, “Aap yeah baat kisi ko mat batana, please.” I extended my hand, and they placed their hands in mine, making me smile fully.
“Aap humse phir milne aayege?” Hum idhar hi rahete hai.” The boy points at the nearby street, showing me their little home around the street. They are so adorable.
“Yes,” I noted to visit them again, and their excitement was at its peak. After a little conversation, we departed. They ran away, and we settled in our car. Me on the driver's seat, definitely.
I heard some chants from the passenger seat, and when I looked at Sidharth, he went silent.
Strange!
He reclined on the seat like a king when we hit the road and exhaled sharply. “Oh god! You can’t even hang out in public without getting noticed.” I agree with him. “How are you living like that? I can’t stand all those curious eyes when I am eating or walking.” That means he noticed how the crowd in the cafe was looking at us with keen interest when I removed my scarf.
“This is my life, and you can say that was the drawback of being famous.” I glance at him and then focus again on the road.
His voice turned curious, “Why did you choose this field where you can’t even take a relaxed breath?”
“I didn’t,” I murmured, but it was audible.
“What?” He sits straight and waits for my explanation. I don’t know how much I should tell him without breaking down in front of him. So, I kept mum, and he understood my silence. “Leave it.” He looks out of the window.
I thank god that he left the topic here itself. I began, getting his attention, “This is not that bad either.” A beautiful smile comes on my face, remembering the tons of gifts and letters from my fans across the country. “I get so much love from all the people. Sometimes I get hate too, but it's all worth it when I have crores of people wishing for my well-being.” Don’t know when those words slipped from my tongue. “They made me feel wanted.”
After my parents' death, my maternal family reminds me a thousand times how unwanted I am in their lives.
He questioned, “Don’t you feel that this affects your privacy?”
I laughed and answered sincerely, “I will tell you a secret, remember that actors can’t have privacy because they are public entertainers. Their personal life is also a topic of discussion in the household.”
Oh no!
I shouldn’t have said that.
My Nani taught me only this, as she used every little thing to get publicity and money. She even sold many videos of mine at home, where I am gardening or cooking, or having some peaceful time, just for money, to some online paparazzi channels.
I don’t know how Sidharth’s family made her agree to keep this marriage a secret, or does she have another motive?
I don’t know.
“You are wrong, Shehnaaz. Maybe one day I will prove this to you.” He debated while his eyes were cold. “There is a part of your life that is meant only for you, and no one will snatch that from you.”
I wanted to believe his words, but my mind is not ready.
The conversation halted like that, but it was comfortable. The first time, we talked without insulting or taunting each other like saints, which we are not.
After some more minutes of silence, I apologised, “Sorry…” He looks at me like I asked for his kidney for sale, yet I continue, “You have to face that chaos.”
He took a minute to come out of his shock and smirk, which is a danger sign.
Not again! I groaned.
“When I married a chaos herself then, that was nothing in front of it.”
“Jerk.” I cursed him as he deserved it. Here, I am trying to be civilised, and he is acting like a true bastard.
“Hey, cursing your husband is not appropriate for an Indian wife.” He hissed with fake anger as I noticed the teasing glint in his eyes.
“Then, calling your wife bitch is also not appropriate for an Indian husband.” I retorted.
He grinned like a five-year-old boy who got a chocolate after a long time, “Ok, I won’t call you bitch, Munni.”
HE IS DEAD.
I roared, “For God’s sake, call me anything but not MUNNI.”
“What shouldn’t I call you? Munni?” He beamed as if he got a reward. He will be dead if he calls me that one more time. “MUNNI…”
Here, he goes.
I look at him with fire in my eyes, and he goes silent, raising his hand in surrender.
He surrenders so early, I am surprised.
I focus on driving while he is doing something on his phone. This is strange, too. I never saw him using his phone. He spends his time with the family and enjoys his meals rather than using his phone. He is an anti-social media person. He rarely posts anything on his Insta account, and his account is private.
Varun showed me his Insta posts one day when we were just lazing on the couch in the living room.
“YOUR BLUETOOTH IS PAIRED.”
Oh, so he is connecting his phone to the music system.
He smiles sheepishly, and I narrow my eyes. He is up to something.
🎵Munni badnaam hui darling tere liye
Munni badnaam hui darling tere liye
Munni badnaam hui darling tere liye
Munni ke gaal gulabi, nain sharaabi
Chaal nawabi re
He played this song out of all the songs.
I curled my hand tightly around the steering wheel, stopping myself from strangling him right here.
This fucker is singing along to the song at a high pitch.
Not singing, he is literally shouting.
I know why he is doing this. He loves bothering me with his nonsense.
Till now, this song was one of my favourites, but from this moment on, I know I will hate this to no extent.
“MUNNI badnaam hui darling mere liye….” This jerk shouts, poking his finger in my cheek.
“STOP IT!” I roared, but he didn’t even flinch. He is singing and dancing, forgetting about his grumpy image.
Every cell in his body is enough to boil my blood.
He played the full song and then turned off the music. I signed in relief. I know the show will not end here. He won’t rest until he forces me to pull out my hair, myself.
“My Dadi taught me something. Wanna listen?”
Did I respond with yes? NO!
Did he care? NO!
Will my answer stop him from troubling me? NO!
“ छोटी सी मुन्नी
लाल गुलाबी चुन्नी
पीले वाला सूट
चमचमाते बूट हैं
छोटी सी मुन्नी
लाल गुलाबी चुन्नी
नर्सरी में पढ़ती हूँ- “
He can’t be serious!
Fuck!
He recites the nursery rhymes just to irritate me.
This is the last nail in the coffin.
I smacked his arms so harshly that the sound was soothing.
“Ah…” He yells, but is laughing too. “Shehnaaz, I am your husband…” I strangle him, who is resisting, but with no force. He is enjoying this.
“That is why I am not murdering you.” I bellowed, forgetting that we were in the car and at the red light.
The car behind us honks.
“Shehnaaz, green light-” He announces, and I settle back in my seat.
After five minutes, I don’t know what happened, but we both burst into laughter. Now, the atmosphere turns comfortable in the car, and I can see the change in our behaviour.
“I wanted to ask something.”
“Go ahead.” I give him a small nod to continue.
“Who the hell is Sapna?” He blared, making me laugh again.
“You are still stuck there.” He narrowed his eyes, demanding an answer. “Sapna is my name in my current running show. The last episode of the show will be telecast this Sunday.” I answered sincerely.
“Do you have different names in every show?” After a moment, he asks curiously.
“Don’t tell me you haven’t watched a single drama till now.” I am surprised.
Not just surprised, shocked.
“NO, I don’t.” He murmurs and adds, “I find them time-wasting.”
I kept quiet, and the ride home was silent. I parked the car in front of the door. Seeing us back, Virat rushed towards us.
“Munni, give the keys to him; he will park the car under the shed.” My jerk husband ordered, mischievously. I know why he is messing with me.
“Don’t spoil my image in front of him.” I hissed and gave the keys to Virat with a smiling face.
“Do you like him?” He asks sincerely as we walk inside.
“Maybe,” I tried to mess with him. I love it whenever I get under his nerves.
“Munni, you are married-” He stopped abruptly, but not seeing my look, in fact, hearing someone else.
“Munni…?”
The voice sends chills down my spine, and I get goosebumps. I looked up only to realise that I wasn’t dreaming. She is sitting here with MY FAMILY, and that screams danger.
“You-” I stammer. I may have sounded pathetic, that’s why Sidharth looked at me worriedly, but didn’t say anything.
The person standing in front of me is none other than Kishori Gill.
Now, what does she want from me?
“You are expecting a grandchild from Bhaiya.” Varun babbled, disappointedly, looking at Chachi and Maa. “They are calling Munna-Munni to each other rather than baby or darling.” I would have smacked him, but I can’t because of the lady standing in front of me. I can’t show how close I become to my family, or it will put them at risk. He added, “So, how would they reproduce?”
My eyes refused to look at anyone else, other than my Nani. She is keenly noticing everything, and that is a bad omen. My feet shake in anxiety, and I hold Sidharth’s hand. He noticed and tightened his hold on my hand, giving me support without words.
“Don’t worry, I will reproduce. You just think about your boarding school.” Sidharth threatens Varun, who sits quietly in the corner. He is very scared of going to boarding school.
“Aap yaha?” I asked after we settled, me beside my Nani, and Sidharth on the front couch, facing us. My words stutter, but I managed, perks of being an actress.
“Everything all right?” I wanted to ask so that she can go back early, but the words are not ready to be out in fear.
“Shehnaaz, first, greet her.” Dadi scolded me, and I looked down as the tears were on the verge of coming out.
“Don’t cry, baby. Sorry, I haven’t visited you earlier-” The vixen lady held my chin so that I could face her, as she loves to whenever I cry. I caught the wicked smile on her face, but kept mum. “My health was not good, that’s why I avoided going out.” Her hold on my chin tightens, making me uncomfortable.
“Aise koun rota hai, Shehnaaz?” Chachi rushes towards me, seeing me crying. She wipes my tears, making me come out of Nani’s clutches. “Ek dum pagal hai yeah ladki.” She ends affectionately.
Please, Chachi, don’t show your concern for me in front of her, or else she will use that against me.
“What happened to you, Kishori JI? You are looking quite weak.” Dadi asks concernedly, seeing her condition that has bangs under her eyes, I can’t trust her. She is a bigger actress than me.
The next second, she weeps as if just waiting for someone to ask. “Please, don’t cry, ji…” Maa tries to console her and adds, “What happened? You can tell us, we are a family, Aunty Ji.”
“I wanted to see Shehnaaz, that’s why I got emotional.” She ran her hand through my hair, and I flinched slightly. I hope no one notices me. She continues, “I am seeing her after so long.”
BULLSHIT!
I make a bad face, as I realise that she is playing another card to make me bend so that she can have her way with me. I looked straight and gasped, seeing Sidharth keenly noticing me.
Did he notice me flinching at her touch?
Oh God!
What will I say to him when he asks me about it?
“Don’t know how much time I have now?” Now, what card is she playing? She is lying, and I can bet on it. She cups my cheeks, “I wanted to cherish her.”
“Why are you saying that, Kishori Ji?” Dadi asks, worriedly.
Don’t come in her trap, Dadi. She is showing her crocodile tears.
“So, what would I do?” Her cries turn intense. “I have very little time on this earth.”
“What?” The word echoed in the hall. Only Sidharth is sitting and noticing everything without a word. His intense eyes can dig a hole in anyone.
What is he thinking?
His eyes landed on me, and those intense orbs turned slightly soft. He is trying to read me through his eyes, I can say that confidently. His frowns on his forehead tell different stories.
Will he help me get out of this mess?
Will he believe me over everything?
I don’t think so. We are not that close to each other. We barely trust each other.
I was so indulgent in my thoughts that I forgot I was talking to Nani.
“I have leukaemia.” I heard this and was shocked. Is she lying to get money from me for Sonali’s drama?
There is a 99.999% possibility of this.
This is the most pathetic thing anyone could have done for money.
Faking illness, seriously?
This is too much.
Why am I related to her bloodline, God?
“What?” Dadi asked in shock and put her hand on her arm for moral support.
This lady vixen is fooling my family. I will not leave her.
“Ji, I have so little time left.” Another lie.
What face will she show to God?
“There is nothing to be worried about, Kishori Ji. Science has developed so much. Nothing is impossible in this world.” Chacha ji tries to boost her morale, and this only makes me mad. My family is showing real concern for this lady, and she is taking advantage of my family’s goodness.
She will not get the place even in hell.
“I am sure you will get well. You just need a good treatment.” Papa sympathised.
“How will I get treatment, Ram Ji?” Another lie with her crocodile tears. “I don’t have money for the treatment, and now, I can’t even ask my Shehnaaz for it.” Oh god! She is deliberately doing emotional drama to get sympathy from my family. “She is married-”
“She is married, but she is still your granddaughter. You will always come first for her.” Maa assured her.
“Don’t worry, Nani Ji, I will pay for your treatment-” For the first time, after we come back, Sidharth opens his mouth, but WHY?
He always opens his mouth at the wrong time.
“No!” I interrupted him. I can’t let them fall into her trap and spend money on this greedy lady. “I mean, I will pay. She is my Nani, how can I let her be like that?”
“She is my responsibility, too, Shehnaaz.” This jerk won’t understand me ever.
Is this the time to show responsibility?
“No need, Sidharth. I will handle her. If I need anything, I will ask for it myself.” I end with a lip-tight smile.
“No… No… How can I take your money, Shehnaaz?” This drama lady is still not ready to stop her show.
“Kishori Ji, you are our family, and taking care of you is our responsibility. So, please, don’t refuse her.” Chachi appealed.
“Ji,” See, the vixen agreed in a second.
“How much will it cost, Nani?” I questioned; somewhere, I had an idea of the amount.
“I don’t know how much it will cost, but you should give me 7 or 8 crore for now.” I was right. How shameless she is. “I will return it to you as soon as I can.” Now she is acting innocent.
“I will transfer money to Sonali’s account.” I have no option except to accept this. If I deny this right now, I can guarantee that she will create a scene and will put me down in their eyes.
Their love is above everything for me. I can sacrifice lakhs of rupees on her for them, but won’t let her shadow near MY FAMILY.
“Thank you, Shehnaaz.” She engulfed me in her arms, and I reluctantly wrapped my arms around her waist. Meanwhile, she added, “I told you na… There is no one like you. You are my golden bird.”
Golden bird!
This is what I have been to her since childhood.
A golden bird that lays golden eggs every time she needs money to spend.
I don’t know when I will come out of this vicious cycle.
“Nani, you don’t have to pay back the money. What I have is all yours.” I ended up saying this only for my family’s sake. Whereas I know she will never return my money.
To be continued…