"A sincere apology has three parts: I’m sorry, it was my fault, and what can I do to make it right?"
X—X—X
SIDHARTH
Why does this always happen to me?
Am I not God's favourite child?
Then, why?
WHY?
Why do I always make the situation awkward?
Shehnaaz and I are acting strangely. We have been avoiding each other since our argument in the morning, and I am happy about that. If we speak, we will fight, so silence is better than fighting.
I am not bothered by this, but the way Dadi is eyeing me as if I snatched something precious of hers makes me mad. She is seeing the tension between Shehnaaz and me, and this is not a rocket sign that she understands that something is off between us.
The elders!... Huh!!!
“Sidharth, act accordingly,” my heart screamed. If Dadi gets an idea about the truth of my marriage, then the whole society will come to murder me.
Dadi and her friends are weirder than Shehnaaz, and I can’t handle them. If they get to know that I angered their favourite Shehnaaz, then they won’t think twice before killing me.
So, to avoid Dadi’s doubts, I must act all lovey-dovey with Shehnaaz.
Think!
Sidharth, think!
I look at Shehnaaz’s smiling face while talking to Maa and……
IDEA!
Act clingy like all the cringey couples do. It took all my guts to stop giggling like a girl and to maintain my poker face.
I palmed Shehnaaz’s hand over the dining table and rubbed my thumb on the back of her palm lovingly. Trust me, the second I held her hand, it felt softer than anything. But her hand felt cold suddenly, and I looked at her face, showing several emotions, but I was unable to understand anything.
I felt heavy.
I felt emotions.
This was the first time I touched her, and it felt like something strange and unique.
Her touch must have disgusted me as WE HAVE NOTHING IN BETWEEN US BUT… this is something I can’t explain.
I look into her eyes and squeeze her hand, loving the way her hand feels under mine while she is shooting daggers at me. I wanted to convey the hidden message, but Dadi’s gaze was not ready to leave my face, making me anxious.
For fuck’s sake, she is reading my face with keen interest.
Oh god! Where have I gotten stuck?
Out of nowhere, I felt pain and yelled, “Ouch…”
BITCH!
I know it’s wrong to abuse your wife, but she deserves it. She stabbed HER FORK in my thigh and acted as if nothing happened.
That hurt, woman!
“What happened, Sidharth?” Look how sweetly she asks, as if she has no idea about anything. Her fork must have left a mark on my thigh because it stings. “Mosquito bite?” She is getting on the wrong side of me.
Go to hell with your mosquito. I wanted to yell at her, but not in front of the family. All the emotions and feelings I felt went down the drain.
Because of her attitude, SHE AND I ARE NEVER GONNA HAPPEN. Not in this birth, at least. I am confident about this.
“Touch me again, and I will give you a ride to hell.” She whispers sassily and turns to have her dinner.
My anger flares, seeing her smile. I will erase that smug smile of hers. My knuckles turned white because I gripped the table, and my ears must have released smoke; I can feel it.
Huh! Girls die to be touched by me, but this stupid woman is getting that without any effort; that’s why she is acting rebellious. She deserves a good lesson, and I am ready to teach her that.
Now, I smirk, my devilish smirk. I had a bite of Kheer (a sweet dish made up of rice and milk ) that was prepared by MY WIFE.
“Maa, who made this kheer?” I know who made that, but I want to hear it from my mother.
“Shehnaaz,” She answered, as I expected.
I smirked and kissed the back of Shehnaaz’s palm, “Your hands have magic, Darling.” She looks at me with wide eyes, making me bite my inner cheek. She was ready to stab me again with the same fork, but this time, I held her hand at the right time under the table.
The devil in me passes a small devilish smile to her, and I kiss her cheek ever so lightly, like a feather. She gasped, and the fork fell to the floor, making a loud sound. “Why do you tire yourself by preparing dinner for us? You should take a rest after your hectic shoot.”
Two can play the game, right?
“Oh Oh…. Love birds, getting romantic and cozy on the dinner table.” The second most irritating soul after my wife, said. I would have killed him for teasing me if he weren’t the only son of my Chacha and Chachi. He is lucky to live under the same roof as me, till now. “By the way, I don’t mind getting a baby who will call me Chachu and roam with me everywhere.”
I snarled.
Bullshit! I won’t let him come near my baby.
My baby, in his arms?
Never gonna happen!
“Hell! I will let you roam around with my grandchild. You will spoil the baby.” My dearest Chachi is always right.
“I agree…” This time, Chachu also joined her team.
“Aren’t you guys going so fast?” I asked. This is too much. They are discussing OUR baby even when we have no hope for our marriage. I looked at Shehnaaz; she was fidgeting with her food on the plate, but what I noticed was her ears. They turned bright red, and her cheeks had a tint of redness as well.
She must be feeling awkward with the baby talk.
Or is she blushing?
“OUR BABY”
This thought felt strange but good.
Am I acting bipolar?
On one side, I am not seeing our future, but on the other side, I am hoping for our baby.
I need to consult a doctor as soon as possible.
Never mind, I turned toward others and announced, “We aren’t going to be pregnant so soon.”
The sooner they understand that, the lower their expectations will be.
“The one who says that 'we aren’t going to be parents soon' will end up having a child in the next nine months.” Now, I genuinely want to know why I kept him alive till now.
Varun, you are getting on my nerves.
“The one who is super excited about being a Chachu will not get a chance to see the face of my child.” I retorted and kept the urge to kill him inside.
He went silent, good for him.
After that, the dinner went well, but the suspicious eyes of Dadi’s still lingered on me. Somebody save me, please.
God showed some mercy on me as I got a call from the office. I went into the garden to talk, and when I came back, no one was present in the hall, which was good for me.
Now, I can sleep peacefully only if my wife lets me.
She has a rebellious nature, and the way we fought this morning, I am sure she must have stored something for me. I just hope she won’t murder me when I am asleep. There are 90% chances that she will do that to get rid of me.
I prayed and went inside our room to find her getting a princess treatment from my Mom.
My mother is giving her a head massage. Wow!
She never gave me that. I always got head massages from Chachi or Dadi. She betrayed me.
My mother betrayed me with my wife.
Dear Mother Earth, please, swallow me right now.
“You never do that to me.” I didn’t want to sound jealous, but I AM JEALOUS, and I am not ashamed of accepting that.
“Because you are adopted.” Wow, now, my wife will also say that I am adopted.
“Shut up,” I screamed in jealousy.
“You shut up,” Maa screamed back. I stomped my foot in frustration and sat beside her on the bed. “Stop getting jealous of your wife.”
I cribbed, and why not? I am also her child. I, too, want her attention and pampering. “Why did I never get such treatment?”
“Because you are not Badi mumma’s real son. She picked you up from the garbage.” Here comes Shehnaaz’s walking fan club.
Shehnaaz and Varun giggled, looking at each other as their thoughts matched, and why not? Their IQ level is the same as well, that’s Z.E.R.O.
“Varun, you can’t just say the truth on his face.” Maa too joined them in their banter. Why do they always humiliate me?
“Mumma…..” I pulled her arm, making her chuckle at my antics.
“Kiddish!” Shehnaaz said, and I agreed with her. Yes, I am kiddish, but only between these four walls. I sat at her place on the floor between Maa’s legs. “I, too, want a head massage.”
“Do you even have a head?” Varun commented, and my wife laughed so loudly that it made my earache.
“One more insulting comment about me, and you are going to the boarding school away from all of us.” I threatened him, and as expected, he left the room with a grumpy face. With this, I got a smack from my mother and a deadly glare from my wife.
“Maa, he is so rude.”
“And, mean too.”
Both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law bad-mouthed me for the next half an hour as I upset their favourite child. But the best part is I got a relaxing head massage from Maa. Now, I just need a bed and a pillow to sleep, as I am sleepy.
Maa went out, and I went to the washroom to empty my bladder. After a minute and two, when I entered the room, I smelled something strongly.
Hell!
The smell was gross and so strong.
I smelled again and sneezed, as I am allergic to perfumes and any other strong smells.
I sneezed
Again
Again
And again.
I covered my nose with a hanky and looked at MY DEAR WIFEY, who is behind this.
My bitchy wife emptied the whole perfume bottle, knowing the fact that I am allergic to it.
“What the hell did you do, Shehnaaz?” I yelled, still covering my nose, and I sneezed again.
“I wanted to smell something sweet to change my mood from angry to happy. So, I sprayed a fresher in our room.” She said sweetly. I can bet that she chose the correct profession for herself, as she is definitely a great actor.
“A whole bottle?”
“Ya…”
“You know that I am allergic to smells.”
“I do.”
“Then, why?” I sneezed again, and my eyes watered because of that.
“This is your punishment.”
“For what?”
“For kissing me without my consent.” The dining scene replayed in my mind, and I rolled my eyes.
“You can’t be serious.”
“I am.”
I sneezed, and trust me, I forgot the count of it.
“Fuck you,” I screamed, but she laughed. Her damn sarcastic laugh.
“No, you can’t. I have a better taste.” She just insulted me. I can’t do anything right now. I can’t stand still in the room anymore. I grabbed the blanket and pillow and went onto the balcony to sleep.
I lay down on the floor, but my sneezes are not ready to leave me.
After 10 minutes, I felt her presence behind me, so I turned to look at her. She is lying behind me as if she were innocent.
“What are you doing here?” I pulled the blanket from her face to get a view of her. She is avoiding my eyes, and I want to know why.
She stayed silent, and I continued, “Are you going to reply, or I will just throw you inside the room again?”
She shakes her head frantically and licks her dry lips before speaking, “The room suffocates me because of the smell, and I can’t sleep there because of that.”
I got my smile back and said before sneezing again, “Karma is a bitch!” She glares at me, but I don’t care. I turned my back towards her and said after a moment of silence, “I deserve an apology.”
“And I am not going to deliver that.” See, didn’t I tell you guys about her attitude?
“Because of you, I am sleeping in the balcony instead of my bed.”
“I am also sleeping here, can’t you see?” She and her attitude are something I can’t tolerate.
“Because of whom?” I mocked her.
“Stop taunting me like a neighbor aunty.”
“Stop comparing me with aunties.”
“Then, stop acting like one.”
“Then, stop messing around with me.”
“Then, stop kissing me.”
“Huh! As if I am dying to kiss an attitude freak girl.”
“Yeah, you are dying to touch me, and you showed me that tonight.”
“Stop dreaming about me, girl.”
We are fighting again, but this feels like bickering. Instead of anger and frustration, I had a smile on my lips. After a brief moment, I turned to face her. She is lying there with closed eyes and the same smile as me on her lips.
“I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable at the dining table.” I realized that I must have made her uncomfortable because of the kiss. “But that was unintentional.” She looked at me instantly and turned as well to face me completely. “I know my limits, and I would never cross them without your consent.” I am genuinely sorry about that. I took a deep breath before continuing, “Dadi is looking at us suspiciously; that’s why I acted that way.”
I can say that she is also guilty, as she looks down and licks her lips as she always does when she regrets her behaviour. “I am sorry too. I overreacted.” She apologized, and I smiled as she looked innocent while apologizing.
“No, you were right at your place.” I lift her face, holding her chin to lock our eyes, “I will try not to do that again without your permission.”
She looked at me calmly and smiled, which I reciprocated until I sneezed again. My nose must have turned red after the number of sneezes, and I can feel my body temperature rising, too.
“I am sorry for this, too.” She refers to my sneezes, and I can tell she is feeling guilty, extremely guilty.
“Ya, you should be sorry for that,” I said teasingly to make her mood lighter, but it won’t work. She stood up and went inside the room, making me sad.
I didn’t want to make her sad, but I did that again. Don’t know why, but I already started missing her presence. My guilt went away, and a smile came back when she entered with a water bottle in her hand.
“Take this,” She handed me a medicine, I think it is for an allergy. “I hope this will help you.”
I took the tablet without throwing any tantrums and closed my eyes as I was not feeling good. I am feeling tired and warm inside.
I hope that I won’t get ill, not when I have my important meeting tomorrow.
“Dadi and I have a flight tomorrow for Kashmir,” Shehnaaz said.
I like this quality of hers. She always informs me whenever she goes out of town for a shoot, and this goes two ways. I also informed her about my whereabouts.
“When will you come back?”
“The shoot is scheduled for 5 days.”
“So, that means I will sleep peacefully for the next 5 days.” I giggled and received a smack on my back from her.
“Your happiness won’t last more than 5 days.” She retorts, and I can sense she is frustrated.
“My bad luck.” I turned around to face her, and she scoffed like a kid puffing her cheeks, making me laugh at her expression.
To be continued…